Inferno in diretta, AKA Cut and Run, AKA Amazon: Savage Adventure, AKA Straight to Hell (1985)

Directed by: Ruggero Deodato
Starring: Michael Berryman, Lisa Blount, Leonard Mann
Special Appearance: Karen Black
With the Participation of: John Steiner

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Colonel Brian Horne: There are no answers... ...only actions.

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Ruggero Deodato is the prolific director of films like The House on the Edge of the Park, Cannibal Holocaust, and Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man. And although he'll never be accused of being a perfectionist (note the tourists in the tram at the film's opening conspicuously trying to get into the shot) his movies are never boring. And, anyone who has the balls to openly reference Ingmar Bergman in a movie about pimps, drug wars, and cannibals gets points in my book.

Deodato starts Cut and Run off with a bang. Michael 'The Guy From The Hills Have Eyes' Berryman leading a bunch of cannibalistic Amazons on a commando raid against some unsuspecting fishing village. Berryman, playing a guy named Quecho, floats slowly through the water with only his eyes and giant dome visible. Suddenly, the villagers in sight, he leaps from the water and tackles an old lady. Soon his followers are swarming the hapless fishermen, nailing them to the dock with nails through their shins so they can chow down.

Now that's what I call an opening scene.

At this point things get a little complicated. Two reporters, Fran and Mark, get word that a drug bust is going down, so they go to film it. When they get there before the cops, they find that all the drug runners have been killed. Fran steals a picture out of one dead lady's purse. The picture shows a bunch of people loading drugs into a plane. One of those people is Fran's boss's son Tommy, a kid who everyone thought was dead, but who has, in reality, been stuck for years doing forced labor in a drug camp in Guyana. Wow... that sounds like a pretty heavy role. I wonder what actor they found with the gravitas to pull this one off... De Niro? Sutherland? Dafoe? Nope. Aames. Wille 'Vagina With Legs' Aimes. Ugh. Acting is hard, but Aimes makes it look easy.

ACTING!

Just to put it in perspective, Cut and Run came four years after Aames's run in Eight is Enough, three years after his stellar performance in Zapped, right in the midst of his tour-de-force stint as Buddy in Charles in Charge, two years before he showed up for the Eight is Enough Family Reunion, and exactly nine years before his groundbreaking depiction of the world's best direct-to-video-religion-based-superhero, Bibleman. I repeat. Ugh. Now, under the best of circumstances this guy's going to suck more than a Karen Black nude scene. But, if you were going to try to get Aames across as a 'tough guy,' would you have him wear a Mickey Mouse t-shirt the entire film?

What the hell were they thinking?

The little bitch spends about 2/3 of the movie crying, and the other third trying (and failing) to be tough. At one point Aames and fellow-prisoner Ana are getting ready to sneak out of the camp. When she proudly hands him a gun she's managed to steal he nervously squeals "Where did you get that?" Later, the duo hear gunshots in the distance. When Ana asks him what the noise was, Aames pseudo-toughly mutters "That sure ain't firecrackers!"

I could go on, but I won't. Fran and Mark decide to head to Guyana when they realize that one of the men in the picture is Colonel Brian Horne, one of the leaders of the Jonestown Massacre, another person the world thought was dead. Fran and Mark find out where Horne's camp is from Fargas (Eriq La Salle), a Huggy Bear look-a-like pimp, who spends his days in strip clubs. Don't ask how he knows where guerilla camps in Guyana are located, because Deodato ain't tellin'.

Once they get there, Fran and Mark find Aames, who has, against all odds, managed to escape from the drug camp. Soon thereafter, however, all three get captured by Colonel Horne. Finally face-to-face with the man they travelled all this way for, Horne asks the question we've all be wondering:

Horne: I heard you wanted to meet me. Why?
Fran: We wanted to interview you for television. Live.
[Later]
Horne: What did you hope to accomplish with all of this?
Fran: ... I don't have an answer.

I haven't mentioned it yet, but this entire time Fran and Mark have somehow been transmitting their journey live, with just a shoulder-mounted camera. Now, I'm not even sure that's possible to do today, but it sure as hell wasn't possible in 1985. Aames's dad, who has been watching the whole thing from the studio in Miami, decides about halfway through the film to fly to Guyana in case anyone needs help. Luckily he shows up just in time to save the trio from Colonel Horne. Actually, he shows up just after Horne decapitates himself. Horne's reasons for the self-decapitation are vague... something about following in the footsteps of Reverend Jim Jones.

Three other things worth mentioning. One: Every 25 minutes or so, just when things start to get boring, Berryman jumps out of a random location - a lake, the floor, a closet - and kills a few people. Pretty cool actually.

This makes the movie.

Two: Back in the Miami studio, Fran's boss's secretary - none other than Miss Karen Black - has also been watching. Now, I've never been a big fan of Black... I'm not quite sure how she became a star, because she isn't good looking and she isn't talented. However, she gets a bunch of dialogue that serves no plot-advancing function, and her own 'Special Appearance By' credit. So I guess that's something.

If you're looking sideways, are you still cross-eyed?

Three: The leader of the drug camp is John Steiner, an actor I've praised in other roles before. He's completely insane in this movie, playing a lecherous, bearded slave master. Of course, he steals every scene he's in. Bravo John Steiner, Bravo.

That's my guy.

Anyway, with everyone safe, Fran and Mark fly off in a plane, leaving the father and son to tearfully (again) reuinite. But, in a shocking twist, we find that Berryman is on the plane with Fran and Mark. Luckily the last 3 minutes of Cut and Run turn into a Three Stooges movie, and we find out that Berryman has the same weakness for fire extinguishers that professional wrestlers do.

My final verdict? A very mixed bag. On one hand you've got some sweet Michael Berryman attacks, multiple decapitations, a disembowling, a body being split lengthwise, cannibalism, shin trauma, and a really hot sweaty chick. On the other you've got Willie Aames and his Fruit-tastic Mickey Mouse shirt. So really, its a toss up. This is one of those movies that's just begging for a fan-edit. Cut out the Aames crap and you've got a pretty decent little movie. Or, leave it in there and laugh your ass off like I did. Either way.

Buy Cut and Run at DVD Empire.

- Micah